Scripts! Storyboards! Organs!

After writing a script for my Design For Society organ donation campaign i asked a few friends what they thought of it and if they thought it could be improved. The feedback i got back was not to cut any information but to explain a certain part better and to simplify and shorten one or two lengthy sentences.
Below is the original script with a few tweaks and ideas scribbled on it.

 I decided to add in which organs could be donated as it turns out a lot of people don't know and this would inform them about the subject. There are six organs that can be donated but seven parts of the body if you include bone and tissue. To help people understand what these organs were i used my five previously designed characters and assigned them each with a body part, but i still needed two more characters for the pancreas and kidneys. I added a plumper woman and a skinny man  and assigned them with the colour orange and brown as they were the two body shapes and colours my group of characters were missing.

I am fairly happy with the group of characters now, although i still prefer my original five, i needed to add the other two to make the advert make sense, otherwise people would have been asking why only a few organs were represented. It is a good job i didn't have nine characters as with the main character being pink and the other characters taking the other colours there wouldn't be any other colours left for any other character! I will now show my script to the person i have asked to do my voice over to see what he thinks and hopefully record it soon.

I now also have a neat and coloured storyboard to help me plan out my animatic when i get round to doing it in the next few days. I like how it looks, although very simple it is informative enough to let you know what is going on (to a certain extent, you do need the script too obviously). If the shot has a star next to it, it means i may not be including that particular shot in the final animatic as it may prove to be unnecessary.

 Update!

Here is my final version of the script, which my friend George Roberts kindly did a voiceover for. I left out a couple of unimportant lines and added a couple of others. Enjoy!